Matelot
I almost was a matelot 1
many years ago
but chose a different calling
becoming a pongo 2 3
now living by a dockyard
it’s quite a common sight
to see a seaborne vessel
arrive by day or night
but pardon me for noting
this specific one
that rests at anchor off the shore
basking in the sun
the captain is a woman
hooray! I hear you shout
our Navy is no boys’ club
misogyny is out
she isn’t named for who you think
(the ship, that is, I mean)
and with her proper complement
serves the King and Queen
so thanks to all the matelots
who keep us free from harm
it’s nice to have you calling
may your seas be safe and calm.
29th July 2025
Footnotes
Sailor. See arrse.co.uk for the etymology.↩︎
Soldier. Again, see arrse.co.uk, although I was told by an ex-crab that it came from “where the army goes, the pongoes”. Things like that just start fights.↩︎
Members of the Royal Air Force are known as “crabs” in the other services. Again, see arrse.co.uk, or this explanation.↩︎